I woke up, read my Bible, worked on my movie list, got lost in YouTube land for a long time, and started to learn “Hit Me Baby One More Time” on guitar for my next cover!
**Disclaimer** Please be advised, I am not making fun of Britney Spears with the above photo. On the contrary, love her or hate her, Britney Spears has made a great comeback in the past ten years. I applaud her for publicly breaking and then coming back much stronger than ever before. While I don’t believe that everything about her is worthy of praise, I do believe her comeback is worthy of admiration.
2017 has been a long hard year. While many feel that the year slipped away before their very eyes, for me it dragged on and on. Every day has felt like one step closer to slipping into the deep end of nothingness. Nothing particularly bad has happened, but nothing particularly good has happened either. With every passing month, week, day, and hour, I have felt as if I’m having a quarter-life crisis or something. It seems like I haven’t accomplished anything of worth in my life. It seems like none of my dreams will ever come true. I feel lost and confused and unsure of everything. I mean, for crying out loud, a few weeks ago I sat on my bathroom floor crying because something wouldn’t stay on the wall. Then, I realized I was being ridiculous, so I got up, went to the kitchen, and ate a bowl of fruity pebbles. Why? Because being twenty-something is hard. Adulting period is hard. Still, hard is not impossible. I may be going into 2018 as lost and confused as I’ve been throughout most of 2017, but at least I’m not alone. I have God and I have friends. I have characters from books, movies, and TV shows. I even have characters from my own writing. I’m not alone. I’m not hopeless. I’m not even unaccomplished. So, I’ve decided to write a kudos post as a reminder to myself and as a reminder to anyone reading this that small successes are still successes.
1. Yes, I had to wait five months. Yes, even after moving in there were issues. Yes, actually renting is harder than renting from my roommates’ parents. That being said, I did it! I applied to live in an apartment with my sister. Now, I’m sitting in that apartment as I write this!
2. When I felt like God was calling me to take a new position at work, I took at a moment’s notice. Then, when He used that position to show me how life sucking the job as a whole was, I quit altogether.
3. I started writing a series called, “Malachi Gregory,” and have at least four regular fans! Everyone starts somewhere, right?
4. I go horseback riding on a semi-regular basis now. That’s a dream come true! Gotta count the little victories!m
5. I have over 250 subscribers on YouTube and that’s without consistently uploading!
6. I cook and bake a lot of my own meals!
7. I’m currently caught up on all the TV shows I watch as the air!
8. My siblings love me and like to hang out with me–most of the time!
9. When I’m feeling anxious, stressed, or depressed, I normally go to God right away instead of wallowing in it.
10. When I’m feeling some kind of way about family issues, I not only go to God, but I also share my surface feelings with my best friend instead of bottling them up inside!
And, the list could probably go on for a little while longer, but the point has been made. When life feels murky and deep, we don’t have to get stuck or let ourselves drown! We can and should hold tight to the little life preservers of small successes that God gives us! While this post is written to myself so I can have something to hold onto as 2018 threatens to swallow me up already, it’s also for you! If you’re having a quarter-life crisis, or just need encouragement for a bad day, then write your own kudos list! And feel free to eat a bowl of cereal, buy your favorite candy, or eat icing/ice cream right out of the tub! No one will judge you! We’ve all been there, girl! In fact, I’ve been there at least once a week almost all year! Don’t feel ashamed of where you’re out. If you’re feeling lost, confused, anxious, depressed, stressed, or all of the above, then own it! Take your floods and storms to the Lord and trust that He can handle it
even…especially when you can’t!
And so, as I go into 2018 more unsure of what the future holds than ever before, my only goal is this: To rest in the Lord and know He is God.
Happy New Year! I hope to see you a lot more in 2018 as I write and you read more! Just by reading this, thanks for being a ray of sunshine through my storm! ❤